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Archive for the ‘Day to Day’ Category

As the title says this has been a rough week for me, and tomorrow IS a new day. This could become a looooong post of catching up!

The rough part of my week was really just depression. I was doing really well for weeks and then boy did it come back and hit me, it hit me hard and made up for time! Trying to look back on it now in a better state of mind I can’t really even think of WHY I was so depressed. It was just a mix of everything together and it took me over the edge and fast. I am so glad Len is so understanding and patient with me in this time. I feel like if we were together though things wouldn’t feel as hopeless as they do once I get into a depression like this. Having physical support (a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold) is so much more comforting to me than a text message. I’m not going to get into it though because I’ve had so much talking about and our friend Kendall has been really helping me out and I appreciate everything she does for me!

Well, I’ve been working on this post for days now, mostly because I will get distracted with something else. So as much as I wanted to write into it explaining how everything has gone, I’ll just summarize the day-to-day stuff so I can get down to the things I really want to work on. Goals. Like I said, the week started rough with the depression and then it got pretty good because I got a reply back about a job and went to an interview. The job was through a temp service and they called and asked if I’d want to work at another place (apparently I didn’t get the original job!) and of course I said yes and it ended up being a really good job/pay. I was having a hard time getting excited over the job and after finally letting myself .. the order got canceled! Ugh. Pissed. So I went and met with another woman and I have another appointment on Tuesday to see about another job. That was a roller-coaster ride emotionally. I still feel, even with jobs on the horizon, that I want to go back to CA. So, so, so, so, so much!

So anyways. For the last couple of days that I have been pretty okay emotionally and mentally, I have thought that I need to step up my game with my blog and my health stuff. I need to get back on track with my to-do lists of course, I also want to actually commit to an exercise routine. The weather around here has been getting pretty super nice instead of in your face I-can’t-breath-oh-lord-please-help-me humid hot. I get this weird feeling of i want to do SOMETHING, but I just can’t figure out what it is let alone how to do it. I can’t figure it out! So what I am going to do in this post is to set some new things up!

Eating

Sometimes I can do a great job with my eating (mostly when I have a job and can afford food). Other times I find myself bingeing, a lot. I need to find my balance. I need to find a way to not constantly think about what am I going to be eating next and going through an hour of calorie counting and then find myself really hungry because all I have done is think about food. I’m still not completely sure on a full-blown plan, but a few things I want to start doing and I still think slow and steady will be my best overall plan. I’ve had a subscription, from my wonderful boyfriend Len, to Jillian Michaels website. I used it for a while but didn’t follow through, I didn’t like the food tracker and used it mostly for information and the exercise stuff. Of course after the subscription I found Spark People (free!). I want to use this tool to really help me out, it is free after all and I really like their food tracker! My plan is 1400-1600 calories. Now, I’m not going to narrow myself to ONLY healthy stuff now because at this point in life (with no money and not much choice of what is bought to eat) I would rather just stick to goals that are achievable. So no matter what I eat as long as I stick to those calories, and that doesn’t give me an excuse to eat a 1000 calorie burger (but if I reaaaally wanted it I could!).

Exercise

This subject I struggle with. A lot. My mentality is that if I’ve already eaten something bad, what’s the point in exercising? I’ve already ruined my day. Well, I need to think different. If I do happen to eat something that I feel is on the lower end of the healthy spectrum, then I NEED to exercise. I also can’t just stop it there. I think because my food really isn’t something I can completely control, I need to find my control in exercise. If that means creating a schedule (something I didn’t want to do starting this journey) for exercise then so be it. Maybe it’s what I need. I’ve thought of either creating my routine, or perhaps doing the couch to 5k plan. It might take me awhile longer to get to certain fitness levels on that, but it could be a good goal to do. I’m still kind of working this part out.

Mental

I actually felt really good when I was keeping track of my goals and having routines etc. I think for myself and to make myself feel better, I need to do and get back into my to-do lists and my routines. I tend to do something for a day or two and then go back to old ways, but I am going to stick to my lists this time.

This is my tentative plan now. I am going to take more time to actually plan out what I’m going to do now and hopefully my next post will have updates on that.

I wish I had taken pictures the last week. I made a really good meatloaf from Healthy Decadence show on FitTV, it was actually really yummy and my very picky sister loved it! Tonight I had made pork chops a new way from a random website I had taken the idea off of, but didn’t really follow the recipe. Basically I used a seasoning salt then browned the pork chops, I used 3 onions sliced and a cup of water and then simmered it all together. Turned the chops, simmered again. At the end the onions were gone (they weren’t suppose to be!) and I ended up making a bit of a gravy to put over the chops. It may not have been the most healthy, but it was damn delicious!

Anyhoo, tomorrow is the start of a new week, and a holiday at that. It will be a good day!

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Like I said on Saturday perhaps if I had a job I would want to do as little as possible on Sunday but I don’t so it is usually like any other day for me.

The day started off pretty well, I had one of my Banana Oatmeal cookies for breakfast, which they seem pretty good for that! Not soon after my sister, who had the day off, wanted to start organizing some more stuff in mom’s house. This is really fine with me because usually when I try to do anything mom decides she wants to oversee everything and it gets me frustrated and irritated, but with my sister my mom knows she’s going to do it her way and that is that. We took down the overly large and unused (except as a junk collector) table which was my brothers and put up a smaller table of my moms. My sister also moved a lot of stuff out of the kitchen and organized a big pantry thing that wasn’t being used for anything but junk storage (I think my moms a small time hoarder.) After we put the table and stuff in my truck (between the moments of rainfall), my sister and I decided to take it to my brothers. So we went on a trip of errands which included Wal-Mart for moms medicine and some other stuff, my brother’s house, and my sister paying her storage unit.

After all that it was pretty much late in the afternoon and when we got home, I got lazy. I am not sure how to keep my energy going throughout the day. I seem to just collapse into laziness so quickly that I don’t want to do anything. I really didn’t either. I made dinner (chicken and rice) which was my big accomplishment for the evening. Now I feel really tired and will probably go to bed soon.

My food intake was .. so-so today. Had some candy which i should NOT have had and I am paying the price with a huge toothache now. I am hoping this teaches me a lesson! Exercise was minimal today as well, again, lazy! I have some ideas for stuff health wise and exercise and food, I just need to sit down and put my ideas down on paper when I’m not feeling tired or not moving stuff around the house. Maybe tomorrow! My tooth is really hurting so I’m going to sleep early.

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If I had a job I might kick back and relax and have a lazy Saturday and Sunday, but I don’t, so my weekends are usually much like the rest of my week .. BORING!! Today however I made 2 things food-wise and I feel accomplished and happy!

My day started kinda late, I still need to work on going to bed early and waking up early. So I was going to wait to make the pancit I have craved (and got the noodles for yesterday at the Asian market) for some day when we had to go to the store and I’d pick up the veggies that I needed. I was really craving it though for some reason so I ran to the store and grabbed what I needed and then I was happily and excitedly in the process of making Pancit! Now, I really didn’t have big expectations because 1) I had eaten pancit made from awesome cooks (Lens mom and aunt) who have probably made it their whole lives and 2) Because it was my first time even attempting it. You know what? It didn’t come out half bad! My sister liked it which is surprising because she’s pretty picky. All in all I got my fix, and made a good dish! Also, when I had made my first loaf of bread I had also made a spreadsheet to figure out how many calories and stuff would be in a serving of any recipes I made. I plugged in the information for the pancit and it was really good!

1 cup = 50 cal, 2 fat, 4.5 carbs

I was reading some health/food blogs and came across a recipe for Banana Oatmeal Cookies and looking through the ingredients I knew I had all of those things (minus flax-seed), and being they looked super yummy i was all for making them! I figured I’d do the smart thing first and plug them into my recipe nutrition figure outer spreadsheet thingy, and I was very surprised at the stats on these. It was not very good per cookie, like almost 150 calories and 15 carbs per cookie. I did end up making them, but I don’t think I’ll be eating very many of them or at least only ONE.

I was reading some healthy living blogs and I had a moment of inspiration seeing that a LOT of the people who do these blogs are runners. I guess reading about running makes me really want to do it. So I grabbed some workout clothes and my dog and jumped in the car. We drove just down the road to a local church where there is a small graveyard with a road going around it and cotton field surrounding it now. Pretty secluded and safe feeling (no random dogs running around). I forgot to drive around the road to figure out the distance but I walked two laps around with the last stretch on a jog. I then walked a stretch, jogged a stretch, walked a stretch, and half jog/walked the last stretch back to the car. All in all for not doing much exercise I think that was really good start! I felt really accomplished afterward.

My to-do list was pretty small, and still didn’t do much on it. Most of what I did today was pretty random, like the cooking/baking. I am sooo tired now though!! Finishing up this post and then heading to bed! Somehow I managed to delete my to-do list for today before I saved it to show. My weekly will have to do this time!

Lots of pictures after the jump 🙂 Will add recipes and links for the food tomorrow. (more…)

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Average Friday

Friday night I was so tired I was writing my post for the night and fell asleep!

Friday was pretty average. Like every Friday for the last few months I took mom to the Clearview Cancer Institute, but today was just a labs day instead of chemo. Which meant instead of 2-3 hours we were there like 15 minutes. Hallelujah!

My mission for that day was to find an Asian market because I was craving some of the Filipino dish pancit like nobodies business. Len’s mom and aunt would make the noodle dish usually every weekend or every other weekend when his family would get together. It is sooo delicious. There are a lot of food stuff that they would make in California that I miss, but as long as it isn’t super crazy ingredients or to many, I don’t see why I can’t attempt to make it! So anyway, I found a place in a slightly shady looking strip mall in Huntsville (I believe most of Huntsville is shady looking anyway) but the place was much nicer inside. Got my noodles and a can of Lychee in syrup (yum!) and had a piece of free plum candy which did taste just like a plum!

After my mission was complete we hit up the Wal-Mart for moms medicine (which they didn’t have ready after an hour and a half, so we are going back Sunday) and a couple of essentials. I got a lot of good walking in because I decided since mom was in the car I would go from one end of the store to the other to pick items up. So for example, I went to the pharmacy, then went to get milk (on the other end), back past the pharmacy to get cat litter, then back to near the milk to get some string cheese, went back to the pet section and got a 1.00 catnip toy, then back to the other side to grab a subway sandwich for our lunch, then back to the pharmacy, then back near subway to check out. I know it sounds a little crazy, but it was good exercise because I walked kinda fast (faster than I would if mom was with me).

Afterward we went home and basically my day turned into a food crap fest and lazy. I must have eaten everything in sight and I don’t know why! My issue with it is that I KNOW I’m doing it, and I don’t make myself stop. I don’t say to myself, “Hey, eating that wouldn’t be good for you. Lets just put it back.” No .. I say, “Hey, eating that wouldn’t be good for you, but oh well it’s really good and I want it.” What is wrong with me!? I actually got pretty depressed about the stuff I ate afterward (which is the usual vicious cycle) but I started to play a game which took my mind off everything until I had to start dinner.

Dinner was baked pork chops, baked potatoes (though not baked, microwaved), and corn. Not a terrible dinner, but I am pretty sure I ate way to much of it.  Food and I need to have an intervention. I’m still not sure what to do except count calories even though I didn’t want to, I just wanted to eat healthier except eating a ton of healthy stuff is still not good. I’m thinking I am going to go with 1400 calories, which was what my goal calories was when I was following the JillianMichaels.com site. That low amount of calories would really force me to eat less, which is what I really need because I eat way to much.

My to-do list was pretty small today, I’ve slacked off on some of my morning/night routine so have not been counting it if I don’t do it all. I’ve had fold/put away laundry on my list for about 5 days now (which is what the asterisks mean!) Saturday ends my week and I will be thinking up some new goals and things to start Sunday, and another week to get my routine down.

Pictures from the day 🙂

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Cleaning Cleaning!

Not to much to report on today.

I procrastinated most of the day. Changing habits is so very hard. I can feel myself slipping into just procrastination mode again and I really need to really get some goals going so I stay on top of things. I have been doing well with blogging this week so far and I am enjoying it so it doesn’t seem like i’ll be skipping this any time soon. My only problem being that by the time I get to bed lately i’m so tired my blogging is just half-assed. I don’t want that. My routine seems to be slipping away but tomorrow is a new day and I am going to start it right the way i planned.

I did decide I couldn’t push my to-do list back anymore, the list was getting longer and longer every day! The point of this was to do a few things every day, not wait until the last day and do a weeks worth of things! My big project for today was cleaning the small bathroom. Now, you may think ‘no biggie’, except I don’t think the small bathroom has had a full cleaning since my mom moved here. Let me explain a little about where we live. I live in a trailer that my brothers bought in order to fix up and make livable and pay off for my mom had somewhere to live without having to pay rent. Well, my brothers got it set up, semi fixed up and now mom lives here. The problem being .. it’s not finished. There are walls that are still not dry-walled, the floor in the small bathroom has a hole in the floor that leads right outside and we have to keep a piece of cardboard over it, there are pipes under my bed because where I sleep used to be where a whirlpool tub was, none of our rooms have doors on them except the big bathroom and the front and back exits, and our floor has no carpeting just the plywood. So yea .. no one likes to clean apparently and I swept the mountain of dust that had accumulated into the hole in the floor of the bathroom. I then proceeded to scrub the floor on hands and knees and the floor is now WHITE, holy cow! The bathroom is decorated nicely, and now the rest of the bedroom is a mess with the piles of stuff that had made its way to holding in that small room. Ugh. More cleaning tomorrow!!

I need to take some serious blogging time and do out some goals. I need to give myself something to work towards food wise because ‘just eating healthier’ isn’t working for me. I guess I DO need to start keeping track of stuff, but I don’t want to overwhelm myself with to much change at once. We will see tomorrow.

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Long long day ..

So yesterday was .. well .. long.

Mom had cataract surgery yesterday so there was just a lot of waiting around for me to do. It did go well and she is already starting to see better, neat-o!

Well, we had to waste 4 hours between when she had the surgery and when she had to come back for post-op stuff, so we went to a butcher shop to see about any deals, got a couple of things. Then we went to bridgestreet (a local outside mall type place) around here and I pushed mom around it in her wheelchair. I was pretty happy with that activity as my exercise for the day. Even the really yummy low-fat mango tart froyo with kiwi slices didn’t make me feel at all guilty! When I got home .. that was a whole other issue.

I couldn’t stop eating. I think it was a culmination of relationship stress and this happens to me a lot when I eat healthy throughout the day and actually get exercise and then it’s like BAM eating overload! It wasn’t good for me stuff either like fruit. To much cereal and then rice and leftovers and it was crazy. Most of the times when I eat like that it doesn’t phase me until a bit after. Like I don’t even realize I’m eating stuff and then it was like, ‘oh i ate what?‘ It’s a little crazy. We were suppose to have Brinner (Breakfast for Dinner!) but mom had a really long nap, and no one else was home. I ended up cooking up sausage but not eating any until late, and again I ate way to many. I need to figure out something different with my food.

I didn’t get ANY of my to-do list finished! That is why this is being posted Wednesday morning, instead of Tuesday night. I was hanging out with my sister so bedtime was much later than I wanted and by the time I got into my room I was so tired I was like ‘i’ll sit down for one second and say good night to my boyfriend‘ and then, i woke up the next day haha. I need to really get some stuff done today because there are NO doctors appointments or any reason for me to go anywhere so i’ll have plenty of time to do stuff. WOO!

I took a couple of pictures yesterday, but then had a camera scare and I thought it was broke. It’s not, it’s all good!! Will post them later!

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What title?

Not much went on today, and it was a decent day actually.

Mom had two Dr. Appointments today, and the one we thought would take awhile didn’t so we were able to see the second doctor early. Went to wal-mart for some essentials; milk, eggs etc. I was gungho about going home and having a sandwich but mom wanted to get some Long John Silvers. Well, I am still learning this whole self control thing, and she wanted to share something so .. there went my no more fast food pact. Seriously though, NO MORE FAST FOOD!!! I even made her say it! Although what she got wasn’t the best (fried) I took all the fried bready parts off my fish and ate it naked. The food, not me! I felt better about it that way!

Pretty much hung out at home for the rest of the day, helped organize some stuff with my sister and I cooked my sister-in-laws chicken and rice recipe and it FINALLY came out perfect!! I didn’t get any pictures but you will have to take my word for it haha. Accomplished a few things on my list but not everything, had a lazy phase during the day.


I’m trying to not be really disappointed in myself for not following my routine to a T or doing everything on my list. Things happens, I can’t be perfect, there will be times when it is side-tracked but I need to learn I can pick up and continue on getting back into my routine. I can’t give up, I can’t let it get me down, and I CAN learn good habits. I am worth this effort I am putting into myself to become a better person and feel like a better person!

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